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About Deviant Kristofer Moseley22/Male/United States Group :iconimprovementcult: ImprovementCult
 
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Today, I have some very sad news. I will be leaving DeviantArt, due to emotional related issues. And I do not know when I will be back on or how long I will be absent. I wish this didn't have to happen but I guess its for the best

The reason I say “emotional issues” is because for a long time I have been on and off dealing with depression as a result of past history. And I thought I had dealt with it for the most part but I was wrong; and it's gotten so bad to the point where it's had an major effect on artistic talent (or whatever you want to call it), for the past months I haven't been able to draw or create anything anymore not even a simple doodle and it has made me extremely frustrated, I feel like I have not only let go you all down but I have also let myself down in the process.

I've made empty promises towards improving my craft, to the group I’ve joined, and in the end have made no improvements and used only little effort. I have asked so many of you fellow deviants for big advice on life, art tips, and I've even shared a deep secret with some of you. And that is the reason why it felt like I have let all you down, because all of you have taken so much valuable time out of your much needed schedules to offer great advice and share past experiences with me. You've helped change my life and for that I have nothing to give back in exchange.


And please do not think that I taken any of you for granite. I have cherished every comment, reply, note, llama, Thank You’s, they all mean so much to me as well as you my fellow Deviants. Am sorry this had to be, and I will be back but only time will.
  • Listening to: N\a
  • Reading: N\a
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I'm sorry

There are so many things I've done-
Trying to forget about all that has happened,
So many things I wish I could undo,
I can't tell you all the times I wanted to push reset.
And I'm sorry.

I'm sorry
for not learning how to forgive you,
But what was I supposed to do-
You went and left me here all alone-
Cold and broken my heart was in pieces,
Memories of us now lay scattered.

There's so much I haven't told you,
So many things I want to tell you,
I wish I could.
So much hurt I've come to endure,
The never ending pain,
And every night I'm forced to relive the tragedies.

I'm sorry-
I'm sorry for holding all of it in
But can you blame me,
As the days pass and as year go by-
That happy smiling child you once knew
Has passed passed away never to come back;
But what's left in his place is just the result of other’s actions.

I'm sorry-
For all the missed birthdays,
For all of the missed calls,
I'm sorry for all of the years I spent hating you.

I'm sorry-
for not being that strong person
you always wanted me to be.
The cuts may not be real,
But they are deep,
And they'll never heal.

I'm sorry for everything-
I wish we could have changed things,
I wish things between us were different,
But I guess they never will be.

I'm sorry
And I wish I could be able to forgive you.
I'm Sorry
Only a few words can express how much pain and suffering some of us have been thru 
Not every everyone's father's day is full of celebration and happiness. 
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Been feeling down these last few weeks, my depression is slowly coming back and it's starting to affect my art....well it's already has. These last few days it seems I haven't been able to draw anything. I mean I know what I would like to draw...but when my pencil touches the paper. Blank.....and I end up losing that artistic vibe.
I am the sheep in Wolf's clothing
Mocked and ridiculed, taunted just because the color of my wool is different,
Reject, outcast, prodigal these were just a few of the names given
because of a slight change in pigment I was labeled a misfit,
A mistake at birth really.

Wanting to belong in a society not hidden by lies covered in white wool-
where everyone is different and not the same,
my freedom cut off by a fence of wood and stone-
It's a prison made for the weak and undermined
Guarded by our warden the border collie the sheep dog.

But not yours,
No your world is always forever open, so full of life-
I can imagine the trees, green and amber leaves;
their shadows hugging, welcoming your every embrace.
while mine is only suffocating in false words and empty promises,
Fueled by my envy.

My fur shoved, taken for others’ pleasure and comfort-
But yours is so rich, beautiful, and vibrant;
brown, white, gray, and black.
No matter what the color, no matter what pigment it is,
it will always be truly yours.

From time to time I would stare out into the fields and just day dream,
wondering, fantasizing about your way of life.
Sigh….while my herd’s only care in the world is who’s grass is greener, his or hers.

Oh how I wish to be apart of a family so loving and caring-
And oh how do I wish there was someone so majestic and beautiful as you-
someone who would share my every dream,
every passion, my every
we could comfort each other through the hard times-
and enjoy one another's smile and laughter.

When the moon is high and all is quiet
I hear the sweet sweet music you make
and as I lay there I’d slowly drift asleep and dream of a world better than this.
I dream of a world where I was truly happy;
where the only smile on my face is my own
and not a mask.

But as night falls and day approaches sadly my dream fades away
and I'm pulled back it to a world of lies and hate, a world full of mirrors.
Well I guess my dreams will just have to stay as they are...

…...just dreams.
at least they can't take that from me

I am a sheep in Wolf's clothing
And yes I do know what it's like in the darkness.

Because I live it every day,
I live in world of false secure and lies,
in a world where the only thing that separates me from a figment of imagination and this inferno
is a dream and thick fur coat.
Sheep in Wolf's clothing
This poem actually started out as a sort of add on to a poem one of friends did after she posted on facebook a year ago, and because I liked her poem so much I wanted to add a little more.
And the little part I added was from my point of view. So I went and after hours of searching though posts I finally found the poem and I took my part or my version of it decided to finish it. 

This poem does refect a little of how I feel at times. 

(P.s. there was some proof reading done to check for any errors, but I'm not the best at it so if you see any problems at all please let me know. )
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Today, I have some very sad news. I will be leaving DeviantArt, due to emotional related issues. And I do not know when I will be back on or how long I will be absent. I wish this didn't have to happen but I guess its for the best

The reason I say “emotional issues” is because for a long time I have been on and off dealing with depression as a result of past history. And I thought I had dealt with it for the most part but I was wrong; and it's gotten so bad to the point where it's had an major effect on artistic talent (or whatever you want to call it), for the past months I haven't been able to draw or create anything anymore not even a simple doodle and it has made me extremely frustrated, I feel like I have not only let go you all down but I have also let myself down in the process.

I've made empty promises towards improving my craft, to the group I’ve joined, and in the end have made no improvements and used only little effort. I have asked so many of you fellow deviants for big advice on life, art tips, and I've even shared a deep secret with some of you. And that is the reason why it felt like I have let all you down, because all of you have taken so much valuable time out of your much needed schedules to offer great advice and share past experiences with me. You've helped change my life and for that I have nothing to give back in exchange.


And please do not think that I taken any of you for granite. I have cherished every comment, reply, note, llama, Thank You’s, they all mean so much to me as well as you my fellow Deviants. Am sorry this had to be, and I will be back but only time will.
  • Listening to: N\a
  • Reading: N\a
  • Watching: N\a
  • Playing: N\a
  • Eating: N\a
  • Drinking: N\a

deviantID

StormChaser94
Kristofer Moseley
United States
Born April 9, 1994

Lives in Memphis,TN

Email: kris.mos94@gmail.com
Interests

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:iconcelinedgd:
CelineDGD Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2016
Hey you. :heart:

You are awesome. Keep being yourself. And you deserve happiness, I hope you smile. :heart: You are not alone and if you need anything, I'm there. :heart: Remember, it does get better, whatever happens. We learn and get stronger from the sad events in our lives. I'm sure it'll be the case for you. Please don't give up on life and the things that make you smile, because you are just as important and worth it as any of us. Keep on doing what you do, and being the wonderful person that you are. :heart:

Have a wonderful day. :heart:

PS: Have a motivational playlist, maybe it can help you. ^^
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOJ5cH…
Reply
:iconcelinedgd:
CelineDGD Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2016
Hey there, just popping by to let you know that you are a great individual and you deserve happiness, you make a difference in the lives of others, just by being you, and that is a formidable thing! :heart:

:huggle: :iconsupertighthugplz:

:iconbrohugplz:

Have a wonderful day, my dear. :heart:

:hug:
Reply
:iconstormchaser94:
StormChaser94 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2016
Thank you, I really needed this, these last few weeks have not been the best of times. Sometimes I wish things were different.......but I know they never will be. 
Reply
:iconcelinedgd:
CelineDGD Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2016
You're very welcome lovely. :heart:
I understand...:huggle:
Aw, I'm sure it will get better. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day I'm sure it will. :heart:
Reply
:iconvertical-misfit:
Vertical-Misfit Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:highfive: thanks for the watch :D
Reply
:iconthehyenassbe:
theHyenasSBE Featured By Owner May 20, 2016
Thanks for the watch! :peace: :aww 
Reply
:iconproxyr:
Proxyr Featured By Owner May 14, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much for the badge. ^^
Reply
:iconninorto:
NinorTo Featured By Owner May 13, 2016  Hobbyist
Thanks for the llama!
Reply
:iconakiala:
Akiala Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi there dear!
I read your thread in the forum too, and wanted to try to light up your day a little!

First of all, you're a wonderful person, a beautiful individual of our kind, and you should not be ashamed of who you are!
The love for furry is a part of your whole, not more or less! And that does not mean you're not normal!

So, have a wonderful day!
Reply
:iconstormchaser94:
StormChaser94 Featured By Owner May 1, 2016
Aww!!!!! Thank you!!
Reply
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